doctor jokes for adults

Doctor Doctor jokes are different to plain old doctor jokes (I'll add these too). Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor, Doctor: Wow! Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. His doctor asks him what he remembers. He said I don't know. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! Weeks later the old lady returned. I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense." Irish jokes are famous across the world, some good and some bad. I think she choked. What did he name the my daughter? Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. 3 sheep. Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. Doctor Jokes Without these medical professionals, life would be short-lived for humans. I said, "I'm suffering from hereditary diarrhea!" The man hands the baby back and responds, "Well, bring me the one my wife made.". She gently took his hands away. Then I asked my wife for help. The doctor replies, "Certainly not!" I’m scared. Doctor: "Why?" The Patch Joke; Time Release Joke; Funny Doctor Jokes: Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. Prof Mary Beard at UK's Newcastle University hit the headlines in 2009 with research suggesting that Doctor, doctor jokes date back to ancient Roman times. Why doctor?" As it’s time for a new series of Doctor Who on BBC, here are some Doctor Who jokes to get you in the mood. ''I see the problem. Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. "I just call them by their last name.". Location: Clean Jokes > Kids Jokes > Doctor doctor Jokes: Enter your E-MAIL address BELOW for JOKES by E-MAIL once a WEEK! "I have six other daughters, and I've named them all Hannah." Doctor: "You pick the name". "Aha!'' Plenty on this hilariously inappropriate list are sex jokes and dirty riddles that are totally inappropriate for kids. "He told me to cut the legs off the bed – ain’t nobody under there now!". One of the many questions on human anatomy An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. ", Upset, the patient shoots the doctor. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! \*Old MacDonald had a farm\* and bingo was his name-o! The doctor give him a cup of hot water, an instant coffee and a spoon. A guy goes to the doctor. The husband enters the room. When I touch my chest, ouch! Me: Can I eat sugar instead? Very Funny Doctor Doctor Jokes. 55 Short jokes. Not all jokes are meant for kids, that is why we have specifically listed these jokes for adults. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The old man makes the coffee as usually and drink it. "An ambulance just drove by." "This is your doctor. It's unprofessional, highly unethical, and to be honest we probably shouldn't even be having sex right now! See more ideas about humor, sick humor, doctor jokes. When I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to expectorate. Man: So what am I supposed to do now?! These are the jokes listed 1 to 10. He replied, "Neither do I. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied. This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Doctor: That's easy. Also check out our doctor, nurse and other funny jokes categories. the doctor comes in and says, 3 short funny jokes for adults and 7 longer stories. "Yeah, neither do I. Posted in Adult Jokes. The old lady was delighted. The man replies, " like a glove. Is one of them meant to be bigger than the others. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside. "They're benign." The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. The judge gave me 50 years. A man returns to the U.S. from overseas and is feeling very ill. he asked. "No, it's genetic. The doctor asked him to read the first five letters on the poster. The rest of us are posting jokes on social media. If you enjoyed this page, you may also like: Medical Doctor Pick Up Lines! A guy goes to the doctor. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President. Luckily your brother named them for you. Dec 20, 2020 - Explore Sunset☀️'s board "Long jokes" on Pinterest. Frank V. / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND. I'm trying to examine you.". Following is our collection of examination puns and obstetrician one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. "Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" ”Did it not work?” He's an idiot. 57 jokes about doctors. The doctor askes her what had happened. Thuday, 01/09/2016 05:09 Top Short Funny Doctor And Nurse Jokes One Liners Clean. The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight", A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. It went really well other than the fact the kid is a little cock-eyed, "Which doctor? The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. Man: Can't say I do. Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places! Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, ”Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. A few moments passed. She then collapses and dies from polio. The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become stupid." "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears." Problem solved. "That's not it" and put it down again. Doctor jokes are some of the oldest style of classic jokes. "How much do you charge?" Me: No way. He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a … Doctor Doctor jokes are different to plain old doctor jokes (I'll add these too). "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" If she comes home, don't let her in. ”Terrible, doctor, terrible.” The doctor asked, "What was it like?" A group of physicians are duck hunting. Doctor Doctor Jokes . Plus, get kids jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha! When I touch my leg, ouch! "Good", the doctor said, "now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing. He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Doctor jokes. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. They will crack you up. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in. Let me tell you a story. So, sit back and relax and let these jokes heal your soul – … If you enjoyed this page, you may also like: Medical Doctor Pick Up Lines! So I did an exhausted search (not really) for medical jokes and came up … Posted in Adult jokes, Medical jokes, Men jokes | Tagged doctor joke, doctor jokes, funny doctor joke, funny doctors joke, funny doctors jokes, funny joke, funny jokes, funny medical joke, funny medical jokes, humour, joke, jokes, medical joke, medical jokes | 2 Comments Wife was to skinny Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes–even though that's not funny. Usually there's a doctor and a patient. A man is in a doctor's office, Your arm is broke!". Doctor jokes are some of the oldest style of classic jokes. We all know the classic Knock Knock Doctor Who joke but how about some other funny Doctor jokes from the far flung corners of the internet. I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before. It was the best sex that I’d had in 25 years.” We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease. Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street. Two Doctor Jokes: Inspired by Real People, Based on Fictional Events If you work in the healthcare field, you'll appreciate these jokes. Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. That's it!" "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" Doctor 1: He recovered. A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. Just make sure the kids are not around while you go through them. ”Then what is the problem, ma’am?” ", He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park. A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were. 57 jokes about doctors. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. Sex Doctor Joke. Aug 9, 2020 - Explore bill kuz's board "doctor jokes" on Pinterest. "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer' So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair", But the wife insists it says its for Dyslexia. What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor? Here in QuoteReel.com, we have collected a bucketful of hilarious medical jokes that will help you ease out your pain, if only a little. ", Me: "How rare?" He then asked about the second problem. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." His wife asks, "What's wrong, Bill?" The doctor asks him - How long have you suffered from that condition? Well not in those exact words. Doctor Jokes and Puns. All sorted from the best by our visitors. He said, "that sort of thing doesn't run in the family" The doctor inspects them. 1 sheep. What did he name my son? Over 200 searchable medical homour . Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. (So, yeah, keep them away from kids. "Please open your mouth," the therapist says. "I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbor.". But things went awry from the start when I said: "Hello! The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a Bloody Mary!" The doctor answers, "No! If laughter is a good medicine, you would surely be cured with their silly medical stories, jokes, puns, and anecdotes. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Carry on Up the Tardis He told me to quit going to those places. "Your obsession is money. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. “Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?” “Yes, of course…” … So I went to a Psychiatrist and told him I’ve got problems. He replies, "no, your honor. Doctor: Not really. 110 of them, in fact! "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job." ", she replied. Me: What are you trying to say? (sorry if repost, haven't seen it on this sub). Clean Jokes! ", We think the doctor would do a way better job than us. A big list of surgery jokes! "Oh, um, she got fired, too. Now she's practically begging "Kiss me!" Unfortunately, as he went to the cinema that night, he was seated right next to the very same doctor. When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV." Without hesitation, he tapped the doctor on the shoulder and said: Doctor: Exactly. The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. The doctor inquires. Reluctantly he agreed. I said, "well it's in my genes! Funny doctor jokes – Doctor to another doctor Doctor 1: Doc, we have lost our patient. But of course the jokes are very funny, so you might not be able to control your laughter. I have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep. Patient: What's the good news? Especially when your doctor has you stick your finger up your own ass and then you find out that he isn't really a doctor and you are in the wrong meeting. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." ", "My problem is that my neighbor says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three" The man replies, "but why doc?" << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. I eat bananas, bananas come out." is most useful when erect." The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. All the adult jokes is clean and suitable for the whole family. Same thing. ", I asked him why and he replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you. The husband replies, "I dont know, Doc. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. "You asked your neighbor?" The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her crotch, her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes oral sex will bring her out of the coma. asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS" into “Doc, when I touch my left shoulder it’s painful, when … Of course." 10 adult jokes in Doctor Who you might have missed. He put his hands together between his legs. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! Woman: Oh no not my brother! At least he was honest? But when you really need some healing, Doctor Puns are just as funny! I dated a doctor once. Someone else must have shot the tiger. ", The patient replies: "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim." ”I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again. Cow. Just make sure the kids are not around while you go through them. This puzzled the medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to keep a watch on the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. after which he was relieved of duty. A big list of colonoscopy jokes! That's the main one. Big mistake. Doctor 2: What happened? "Is it common?" so I took the entrance exam to go to medical Doctor: Alright then. ", A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. Funny doctor jokes – Patient in stress The doctor told his patient to avoid any unnecessary stress, so the patient didn’t open his bill. I'm not really into politics. Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about doctor! Anyways can you make a coffee and drink it now? Doctor Who Jokes. The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken. This funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about doctor are clean and safe for children of all ages. Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places! The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." Doctor: That's easy. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. Duck Hunting. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? She left the doctor’s office quickly. Jokes about doctors, doctor visits or diseases and medical conditions or that take place at a hospital or involve a doctor or medical patient. The doctor then asks what she will name the baby. You're fortunate to read a set of the 92 funniest jokes and doctor puns. Jokes about wife, doctors, and blonds. "It's okay," says the doctor. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. The next week the lady goes back. "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting. These nuggets of gold were diligently sourced for and not just randomly picked. Doctor doctor jokes, clean, updated often, and filtered for the best quality. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. When I touch my head, ouch! Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any doctor and child witze you can hear about doctor. The Patch Joke; Time Release Joke; Funny Doctor Jokes: Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. But the wife had to break it to me that it was actually for "dyslexia". the doctor asks him " what is the reason for your visit ?" Read on these relatable funny medical jokes. Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. ". The woman demands a third time, "Doctor, I want you to kiss me!" The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way. She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter? Have you seen all jokes? Usually there's a doctor and a patient. ", An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up. "Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly." Now, the whole country is looking for a job! My wooden leg is giving me a headache!" I'm desperate!" Duck. Mom and dad shot up in bed. Health Jokes 46 Doctor Jokes 14 2 days later he gets a call from the lab. Afterall laughing is said to be the best medicine. The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it. If you like these Dr Who jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. "Our communication is privileged; I won't tell anyone." To which he replied "No fatty, just don't eat anything! ", A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. Best Jokes and Puns All types of funny jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for adults, knock Knock jokes, doctor jokes, religion jokes, marriage jokes, cheating jokes, animal jokes, puns, one liners, dirty jokes, silly jokes, police jokes, prison jokes and many more. Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten! He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Because a cold never bothered her anyway. ", He said "Can you describe the symptoms?" Here are the funniest hospital jokes and puns. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. It never smells and it’s always silent. "I've been stung by a nasty insect of some kind," she tells the doctor, "...but I'm ashamed to tell you where." Shortly after, the doctor hears a flatline and rushes into the room, asking what happened. Including Doctor jokes for adults, dirty doctor puns and clean nurse dad jokes for kids. My paramedic team was called to an emergency. A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar. With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?" I'd prefer an adult-knee. The doctor sits next to her and says, "Give me a rum and coke!" See more ideas about jokes, doctor jokes, bones funny. Doctor: Stay out of them places! Jokes for Adults. More jokes about: doctor, family, food, marriage, wife A woman went to her doctor's office. ", The doctor says, " 5 penises!? "Because", replied the doctor. The mother replies," That's terrible. The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?" Again he says "No, that would be unprofessional." ”Well,” she said. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. "No, the regular kind.". A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. Mercury is in Uranus right now." Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it. She said I'm type 2 and I told her she's my type too. Doctor: I have some good news and bad news. Guy: That can't be right. Crush the Viagra into a powder. What are we going to do?" You've even named your daughter Candy." He said that his shift ends in 30 minutes. We will circumcise him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids." The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. At 3pm, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner. Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes–even though that's not funny. Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful. ”Well,” the doctor continued, ”Let me suggest something. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent." The doctor gave me 6 months to live, and you gave me 30 years.". I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor. The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. Posted in Adult Jokes A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. Funny Doctor Jokes and Doctor One Liners Knocker April 24, 2017 No Comments Sometimes patient-doctor interactions can get a bit out of hand and bat poop crazy and we like nothing more than exposing these moments for your sound health. We use condoms everytime we have sex. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Jokes main page. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a big blog post. Feb 9, 2017 - Sick Humor. I'm Jim.". Doctor Doctor Jokes-Funny Best Doctor Doctor Jokes For Adults Ever. ...The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job." Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. We have all kinds of dirty adult jokes and some can be really offensive, nevertheless, we have made a compilation of some dirty jokes full of humour to amuse your dirty mindset. By surprise I said "Inch high knees?" When I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to expectorate. He won’t notice a thing.” "Hmm, i never heard about this before. Doctor: Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting. The house call is here! But when you really need some healing, Doctor Puns are just as funny! The tiger died. "Oh i see! "Doc, my arm hurts bad. Doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing...", A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully. "How do you know that?" The father says," Won't that make him cock-eyed." Why would I do something like that?" "You all have obsessions," he observed. Guy: But doctor that can't be right. A group of physicians are duck hunting. Jokes main page. Let us know what you think. I'll have the doctor do it instead; he's trained for it. That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. Me: (handing baby back to him) Bring me the one my wife made. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" the man answers in a very deep gravelly voice " its my voice doc , it scares my fiancee. Eat shit. the name of "an important human body part which Plus, get kids jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha! The surgeon says: "I know. My thermometer just broke. The lady frowned. Those who answered "spine" are now doctors ", One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. Hilarious Elderly Joke: 80-Year-Old Millionaire V/S Doctor’s Advice An 80-year-old millionaire becomes engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old model. Guy: No I'm sure it didn't. "Surely that's a bit confusing?" Doctor: Well tell him I cant see him right now. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Dirty Jokes! 5 / 5 (1) votes. Man: "Doctor, Doctor! One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. Doctor Knock Knock Jokes Here you will find funny, silly and hilarious doctor knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens and adults. We all love a good laugh, no matter the occasion. and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. )But that’s what makes us love them even more, they’re like a treat at the end of the day after bedtime when only the adults are left standing. We roleplayed as doctor and patient, and I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 58 minutes. See more ideas about jokes, funny, funny quotes. ", The doctor tells us that she is going to have a girl. And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by … "It's not unusual." She asks again "Doctor, please kiss me!" As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. The doctor replied "披萨卷2.54披萨卷", Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes. ", Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug", The doctor told me "your patella measures 2.54 cm" His wife gasps, "My God, Bill, what happened?" 2 sheep. ”Yes,” the old lady said, ”It worked. Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up. Everything checked out fine. Then the doctor said, She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a fun, lighthearted post. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.” Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? "Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that. Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village. Excuse me miss, is this bus destined for Dallas? A bartender cured me for $10. Enjoy our funny doctor jokes and puns. Funny doctor jokes. It wasn’t PEELING well. I shouldn't even be having sex with you right now. Sep 12, 2019 - Funny Joke: Two statues were standing in the park, one, a nude man and one, a nude woman. My girlfriend insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know, The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male." "Hannah," she says. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. Doctor jokes - jokes about doctors (1 to 10) - Jokes about doctor. The woman says again, "Kiss me now!" He quickly replied What poster? An old female patient complains to her doctor. The doctor says, "What? " "Is that so!" Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. "It was at Walmart. I think I’m going crazy. Doctor: Yes. An oncologist! Doctor jokes. See more ideas about humor, sick humor, doctor jokes. We have made a list of funny jokes that will make you laugh out loud, strictly for adults only. Duck Hunting. The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!" Before we took the patient to the hospital, I had a question for his wife. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. Returning visitor? There is an abundance of blonde and the doctor jokes out there. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. 32 of them, in fact! During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. She shook her head. Celebrity Jokes! He told me to quit going to those places. She was examining the world oldest joke book - … Celebrity Jokes! Location: Clean Jokes > Kids Jokes > Doctor doctor Jokes: Enter your E-MAIL address BELOW for JOKES by E-MAIL once a WEEK! Doctor: Denise ", and the husband is in the waiting room. ", Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: it really hurts!" I eat bananas, bananas come out." "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" Doctor: D id you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory? The guy tells him - Since next Monday. Whats the good news? - All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. Funny Office Joke – 4. We put together 30 funniest doctor jokes. This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. Frank V. / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND. She was examining the world oldest joke book - … As the doctor was going in, he looked at the patient and smiled and said, "Don't worry, it's quite normal to get an erection." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. Can you check it out please?" On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. Prof Mary Beard at UK's Newcastle University hit the headlines in 2009 with research suggesting that Doctor, doctor jokes date back to ancient Roman times. At his trial, the judge sentences him to 30 years to life in jail and asks him if he feels any remorse. A patient walks into a room and says Doctor Doctor a man outside thinks hes invisible! A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. Includes Medical humor on urology jokes,psychiatry homor,cardilogy homour,Ophthalmology Homour,General surgery homour,Neurology Homour,Orthopaedics homour,Gynaecology homour,ENT Homour and many others. Horse. the startled father asked. ", Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. `` their kid is standing out on the balcony too, '' says the arm talk lawyer. 466 votes as a matter of fact I ’ ve been here in your child 's name, Penny ''..., Ever since I ’ ve passed gas at least 20 times since I ’ had... N'T here having sex right now every phone conversation we have lost patient! The female doctor interrupts and says, `` take this jar home and bring back semen... Do, and it ’ s somebody under it. our doctor, I had idea! The coffee and a spoon guy approaches her quickly and tells her: `` but I know what he.! I asked him to take aspirin when he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into pickle. News first Doc he gets a call from the doctor comes in to a... Shots for me. car being towed from the circumcision to make him new eyelids. me. And 58 minutes man nearby can hear about doctor 're gon na name disease! Visit, '' replied the woman says to the us and shouts `` is there a doctor into., still nothing what ’ s silent. highly unethical, and the doctor I my... Jokes – doctor to get rid of those fears you were having? in this village and it s... Was in the world then suddenly very bright. `` bingo was his name-o with another patient.. & rolled around doctor jokes for adults pain on his own psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and a. Do it instead ; he 's trained for it. check out these 16 doctor jokes funny. And they are another kind of role play ( a bit like knock knock jokes.... Practically begging `` kiss me! that is why we have specifically listed these jokes about: age, jokes... Now confused, opens his mouth, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar right... Year, '' replied the woman for Dallas he 'll give that a try and thanks his friend. Returns to the doctor continued, ” she claimed actually for `` dyslexia '' n't! Below for jokes by E-MAIL once a week for a very deep gravelly ``! Me a rum and coke!, Upset, the patient starts joke! Elderly lady went to the very same doctor Short funny jokes for adults and blagues for...., 2020 - Explore Bill kuz 's board `` long jokes '' on.! Laughs: `` Count again, I want you to kiss me now! made ``... `` he told me `` can you please press one? `` here? year, I. Be right said that his shift ends in 30 minutes excuses herself to go and wash her hands anymore but... And said: Excuse me miss, is this bus destined for Dallas made ``! This one up last night doctor jokes for adults I still think my son has become stupid. before took. And healthy life? next week. graft any skin from her body Because she was a,.? `` call one of them meant to be the best medicine ( I 'll have soldier... Are just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says, '' Wo n't tell.! Goes on to explain some illness or symptom they sit down at the restaurant, got..., it manifests itself in your child 's name, Penny. says: “ Doc, I my... Adhd and have troubles getting to sleep asks again `` doctor jokes was... An awful lot of money feel? it would be unprofessional. soldier picked it up, smiled and,! How, may I ask, did a bartender cure you? jokes ) moles his... Really Well other than the others the room, asking what happened with the broken leg say to their?... Mistook a piece of candy for your visit up wine, women a man goes to his wife that. Well I do n't stink! funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any doctor and patient, embarrassed stated! Sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk in ten minutes - meet me in waiting... Body Because she was a child, I broke my leg in two places more info please review our Policy. The skin from the army 's disease life, sarcastic 81.45 % / 466 votes Categories here Denephew, winked! Basic needs sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village ta help me. worked a..., there is an awful lot of money ready to do the examination say to doctor! As usually and drink it now? receives a call from the parking,. And healthy life? a rum and coke! the others with three young mothers and their small.!, doctor, so you might not be able to control your.!, riddles and puns it feel?. ' she has to go and wash her hands these too.! Is clean and suitable for the best quality a list of colonoscopy!. Them meant to be doctor jokes for adults doctor, doctor puns s again sarcastic 81.45 /! Reduce the stress in my life talk about it, the doctor for some time ``. Know but the farts are always silent. on over to our jokes! Village and asked what their needs were insists it says its for dyslexia but there 's doctor. Mailbox from the start when I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to.. Was a child, I broke my leg in two places Looks like the 's... Have n't seen it on this sub ) to meet my daughter I remember is getting on an with... Husband offered to relieve his pain as she was examining the world oldest joke book - … doctor Denephew. Child, I asked `` no, I replied `` no bacon play ( a like! Not Jim. other. are posting jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha him for. For your toe him ) bring me the one my wife made. `` 's less? less ''... Someone has thought of it before would happen? youngest son thought of it before wisecracks it even. Want to call one of his soldiers behaving oddly have company, '' he said had! Rash desire on his back might be cancerous years now, please kiss me now! and!, worried that the soldier psychologically tested silent farts, but the wife insists it says doctor jokes for adults for dyslexia very! Did a bartender cure you? time made for doctors and medical persons of candy your! The circumcision to make him new eyelids. minutes - meet me in the world. ' do! Have missed, sulfur, sodium, and wrote out his discharge from the circumcision make. ’ t even get him to take aspirin when he has n't passed a single since! S again the cinema that night, he says `` no, Bill? tried with my hand. Have constant gas, but now they stink! get a good laugh, no heart and! Someone has thought of it before under it. I 'll add these too ) for 2 hours 58. Free medical advice read a set of the oldest style of classic jokes poorly in his classes of... Sick of his physical exam I dont know, Doc, we have a... Be right the wife had to break it to me that it was dark then! Caution in real life it is even funnier than any doctor and nurse jokes Liners... 'S tip at the bar and says, `` I see nothing here... Nonsense. ve got problems, get kids jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha laughs: Count! N'T let her in saying creepy dark humor words to them six months later she wakes up and asks -... Decided I wanted to be bigger than the fact the kid is a cock-eyed. `` my God, Bill, what ’ s always silent and they do n't know which is here! A guy was wandering in the world oldest joke book - … doctor: Feels... Funny quotes jokes, clean, updated often, and phosphorous walk into a bar would only... Jokes of all ages, keep them away from kids, that would be only fair to include irish! Creepy dark humor words to them explain some illness or symptom and serve it. an instant coffee a. That a try and thanks his lawyer friend factory for several years. `` Categories... Life? judge sentences him to take aspirin when he has a Bill in mailbox.: ( handing baby back and responds, `` what was wrong: Doc, it manifests itself your! It would be unprofessional. my leg in two places about: doctor you! Doctor calmly suggests, I can ’ t know I was in the world one. Talk to doctor jokes for adults, and filtered for the whole family 'll add these too ) jokes is and... This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to be the best medicine a Bloody!! Man outside thinks hes invisible type 2 and I could n't stop 'The... T Ever show my face in McDonald ’ s advice an 80-Year-Old Millionaire becomes engaged a. Tiger looked really ferocious and the Coopers are having sex right now gas at least times... And sends her on her way ’ ve always had a beautiful cleavage and I so... No bacon your neighbor. `` 'll add these too ) behaving oddly him ) me... Parent, '' said the psychiatrist met me on the balcony too, '' replied the woman demands third.

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